Irony piece

Gerald: (Frustrated) Bill, why don't you ever clean up after yourself?
Bill: I just don't see why our dorm room has to be squeaky clean. The only people that care about our cleanliness is our girlfriends.
Gerald: Yes exactly my point! They are coming over in ten minutes remember?
Bill: I thought that was tomorrow. I'm not even close to ready to see my beloved Scar.
Gerald: Well you'd better hurry up.
(Bill quickly scurries to clean up his clothes scattered all over the room)
Bill: (under his breath) I can't wait to get out of here.

Gerald: (in the other room) I heard that. No one is stopping you Bill, if anything I encourage you to go out into the real world and find an apartment. Knowing you it will fail royally. 

(Scarlett and Meredith walk in and notice the two bickering.)

Scarlett: Hey guys! Are you ready to go out? We have the best thing planned! 

Bill: I was hoping we would go to that party at 34B. I heard it's going to be a real bender.

Meredith: Classic Bill. Wanting to party every day of the week.

Gerald: We haven't been to a party in weeks, why don't we go for a couple of hours.

Meredith and Scarlett: Fine. 

(Two hours later the 4 arrive to the party. Ted is waiting at the doorstep of his off campus apartment.)

Ted: Nice of you guys to show up. It's only been a few weeks.

Bill: Sorry man I've been really busy with school and everything. I'm trying to find a school to transfer to.

Matt: Why? 

Bill: I hate it here. There's no freedom whatsoever. I'm nearly forced to go to class, and I have no motivation at this point.

Scarlett: You are seriously going to leave me? We've been here for 2 years now. Why can't you just finish and get your degree.

Bill: I don't know if I'll need a degree for where I'm gunna go.

Matt: Are you actually considering Canada again?

Bill: Yes. More specifically Quebec City. I heard it's beautiful up there.

Scarlett: I'm not moving up there. No possible way. 

Bill: Scarlett let's go. We need to talk.

(Scarlett and Bill walk down the street to the study hall) 

Scarlett: So what is it you want to talk about? 

Bill: I have bad news. I am going to move up to Quebec in an effort to make myself happy again. The past two years have been great but I have to break up with you and I couldn't wait to do this. I'm sorry.

(Scarlett runs away and it starts to downpour so she openes her umbrella and finds a taxi. Bill walks back to the party and informs everyone about the news.)

Bill: (to Ted and Gerald) I've made up my mind boys.

Gerald: What do you mean? 

Bill: I'm going to pack up my things and drive to Canada. 

Gerald: How will you survive? You have no money.

Ted: Not to mention you've never been alone in your whole life.

Bill: I don't need money where I'm going, and you can come with me if you want to. 

Gerald: Absolutelt not. I'm not leaving the college, and Meredith behind.

Bill: I was talking to Ted. I know your too consumed with the same crap you do every single day.

Ted: What the heck, I'll come with you. 

Bill: We won't be living in some hotel you know. We are going to live in the wild.

Ted: But won't it be freezing up there?

Bill: This is why I'm buying us snow gear tomorrow, and we will be on our way. Come on, let's leave this stupid party and get some sleep. We are leaving at sunrise. 

(Bill and Ted leave the party and sleep at their own places.)

(Bill wakes up to a phone call from Ted at 3 in the morning)

Bill: (Groggy) Ted?

Ted: Have you told your parents yet?

Bill: I believe it's better if they don't know just yet. What they don't know won't hurt them for the time being. 

Ted: Good idea, I'll do the same with my parents. Just wanted to make sure. Now get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow.

Bill: Okay sweet.

(Bill and Ted wake up and pack their things quickly to make it out of Massachussets by sunrise. They drive up to Quebec to start their new lives.)

Ted: Your dad let you borrow the camaro?

Bill: Nope, I just took it.

Ted: You do realize we aren't coming back right.

Bill: Yes I do, but he'll realize at one point in his life that I needed it to pursue my dream of getting the hell out of my boring robotic life.

Ted: Fair enough. Looks like we are only 5 minutes away from Quebec City.

Bill: I know where we will park the car, and then we will walk through the woods and into an open field. I searched it on google maps and it looked perfect.

Ted: We just need to make sure we have all of our essentials before me make this huge decision. You packed the knives right? And the canisters? 

Bill: Yes.

Ted: How about the tents? The fishing line? 

Bill: Ted, I have everything. We will be fine. Stop stressing out because it won't help our cause.

Ted: You can't take this lightly Bill because without our essential items we could die from starvation or anything of that sort.

Bill: I know. We will search through our bags when we get there and decide what we need.

(Bill shakes his head and rolls his eyes.)

Bill: (Annoyed) Please just don't ruin my dream. You know I've wanted to leave hell for the past 5 years. 

Ted: I wouldn't exactly call it hell, but it was pretty bad.

Bill: (Looks off into the distance) Well, it looks like we're here. Time to unload.

(The two of them unload their car and search through their bags.)

Ted: You're right Bill, we do have everything.

Bill: (Confidently) Told you so.

Ted: I guess that's it then. Quebec here we come.

(They run into the forest with heavy luggage and everything from archery equipment to canned corn.)

(After six long hours of walking, the two stop near a creek and fill their water containers)

Bill: This is the life, ain't it buddy?

Ted: Yes, yes it is. I didn't think I'd say it, but Bill this was a great idea. (Looks into the distance) It's beautiful up here. 

Bill: Oh no.

Ted: What's wrong?

Bill: I forgot something in my dorm.

Ted: What is it?

Bill: Our insulated heating blankets. We definitely need those to survive out here. We can't sleep in our coats every night.

Ted: Should we try and make a trip back? 

Bill: Yes. Let's start walking.

(The two walk for a few hours and realize how dark it's getting)

Ted: Bill it's freezing and the sun is almost down. We are screwed. 

Bill: The worst part is I don't know if we are going the right way. 

Ted: Lets go look over by that cliff over there. 

Bill: Okay but we have to be careful. There's a huge lake under it and if you fall you won't survive the impact of the ice.

Ted: I'll be fine.

(Ted takes a few steps and the ground underneath the two of them collapse. They fall nearly 2000 feet to their death.)

Gerald: (Talking to Scarlett) I just got a phone call from the police station saying that Ted and Bill passed away last night and their bodies were mangled, and discovered near a cliff. They most likely fell to their death.

Scarlett: (Hysterically laughs) Thats ironic.

Gerald: (Pauses) Why?

Scarlett: Bill was deathly afraid of heights. 

3 poems

'Free Verse'
22
The number that started it all
My uncle represented it
In everything including a ball
I loved it, every bit
His passing made me realize
To mourn for only a little
Cuz' I always see him with my eyes
And he lives through me, each and every day

"Acrostic'
Life
Loving every minute
Investing time in the important matter
Vanishing negative energy
Ignoring other predispositions
Navigating through hardship
Giving rather than receiving

Tone Pieces

It was mouthwatering, perfect even. The ham I ate was perfectly glazed in brown sugar and pineapple juice. I always give credit to my Grampie when its due. He always seems to blow my mind with his culinary genius. Easter is a time for religion and such, but you can't go wrong with a good Easter dinner. My grandfather definitely did this correctly.

The Easter celebration was no where near what I expected it to be. I was pissed to see the awful Easter ham glazed in the same gross sauce it is every year. I have no idea what my Grampie was thinking when he was cooking this horrendous piece of meat. I will surely never attend another Easter party ever again. I hate Easter.

Distillation

Conveying the theme of the harsh things people will do to discover advancements intellectually the narrator in the excerpt shows this thoroughly. Incorporating specific imagery, powerful hyperboles, and unique word choice to negatively define scientific intellectuals. The use of these devices showed the severity of the article, the author said, "cut them up, without a pang of remorse, into little pieces." The exaggeration of this conveyed a negative tone in order to portray this towards the intellectuals.

200 word sentence

Many games, when I have played my absolute heart out, realizing it could be my last game or my first championship, my emotions wrapped up in the complex rules, tendencies, and foundation of the game, like the way a little American boy loves his chocolate bars or candy, unfortunately only affecting my body and shoulders, illuminated by the immense amount of self-reward, described as hitting the game winning home run, making the game ending double play, or even just having an efficient day at the office, like a man with cubical duties at an insurance office or a law firm, giving responsibility to the player and his attributes, noticing the severity of the next at-bat with the uttermost importance of each and every play on the beautiful diamond, -many times I find myself going for long runs to decrease the buildup of lactic acid in my arm and in my joints, to ensure my best performance in each and every individual game, baseball gave me the chance to express many emotions I bottle up deep in my subconscious like that of rage, strength, and promise.

Angry Letter

Dear Vanessa,


Your bad behavior has to stop. It has been much too long since the last time your family has seen you. Your addiction has not only negatively impacted your life and your health, but it has been devastating to your loved ones. Do you know what its like? Do you know the pain we have felt the past five years? It's been hell, and I just wish you'd realize that. You were so happy and considerate as a young woman, but now its taken a turn for the worst. I hope you can understand that if you ever want to be back in this family you'll have to formally apologize to not only us, but most importantly your father.

I can't imagine you are having fun living on the street in god knows where. I doubt you like living like this. Living day by day, pay check to pay check. No one wants to be put into your shoes, and with help from your family it won't be as bad. We can help you begin to take the recovery steps by going to a clinic or something. You know my number and everyone else's. Just call me is all I ask.


Sincerely,
Keenan

unreliable narrator draft

Unreliable Narrator

 

                The clock finally struck six. It was time for us to carry out what we’ve been plotting for what had seemed like years. The day had dragged on because of my anxiety towards the situation at hand. It was finally my time to become rich.

Our group consisted of some of the dumbest people I had ever met in my entire life. These five strong, evasive men were just stupid enough, though. Most of them came from my high school nearly a decade back. There was Stevey, Boar, John Carlos, Snake, Tim, and then there’s me.

We all went out for a few drinks at our favorite pub before we went out for the heist. The waitress at our table noticed how Tim wouldn’t stop shaking.

“You alright there hun?” She said.

He looked incredibly nervous and looked up slowly, as if he really didn’t want to talk to her.  

“I just need another drink. Can I get the usual?” Tim replied.

                For some reason all I noticed was the deviant, evil look in our waitresses’ eye. I began to question if she was really even a waitress or not. I guess it was just the stress of the day that came over me.

                “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions before we head off?” I said.

                “Sure, go ahead and shoot.”

                With a somewhat stern tone I asked; “How come we have been going to this restaurant every Monday for the past five years, and you’ve never crossed our paths?”

                “Oh I started last week! Probably why you’ve never seen me” she replied.

                “Well alright then, I guess we should be going now.”

                This awkward exchange lead me to believe that the day wasn’t going to go as planned.

                We left the pub, and proceeded to Northeastern Bank just fifteen minutes down the street. We were equipped in our all black dodge van. There were several M5 rifles lined up in the trunk of our van with grenade launchers and red dot sights attached. It was safe to say we were ready to take down anyone or anything in the way of our target. Snake was our guns specialist, and he carefully loaded the weapons as we approached the destination. At this point my hands were clammy, and my body was sweating. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn’t really describe. All I knew was that it was our time to shine. We got out of the van and put on our armor. We took the rifles, and signaled to Tim to stay in the car and be on the lookout.

                Five minutes and thirty seven seconds later, we carried out one of the toughest robberies Boston had ever seen. One thing was getting in the way of this, though. Our so called "waitress" was an FBI agent and ratted us out to the headquarters, "so that's the story behind it." The investigator replied with "Alright. We will escort you to prison tomorrow, and I hope you have a nice 25 years. It was nice talking with you."