Gerald: (Frustrated) Bill, why don't you ever clean up after yourself?
Bill: I just don't see why our dorm room has to be squeaky clean. The only people that care about our cleanliness is our girlfriends.
Gerald: Yes exactly my point! They are coming over in ten minutes remember?
Bill: I thought that was tomorrow. I'm not even close to ready to see my beloved Scar.
Gerald: Well you'd better hurry up.
(Bill quickly scurries to clean up his clothes scattered all over the room)
Bill: (under his breath) I can't wait to get out of here.
Gerald: (in the other room) I heard that. No one is stopping you Bill, if anything I encourage you to go out into the real world and find an apartment. Knowing you it will fail royally.
(Scarlett and Meredith walk in and notice the two bickering.)
Scarlett: Hey guys! Are you ready to go out? We have the best thing planned!
Bill: I was hoping we would go to that party at 34B. I heard it's going to be a real bender.
Meredith: Classic Bill. Wanting to party every day of the week.
Gerald: We haven't been to a party in weeks, why don't we go for a couple of hours.
Meredith and Scarlett: Fine.
(Two hours later the 4 arrive to the party. Ted is waiting at the doorstep of his off campus apartment.)
Ted: Nice of you guys to show up. It's only been a few weeks.
Bill: Sorry man I've been really busy with school and everything. I'm trying to find a school to transfer to.
Matt: Why?
Bill: I hate it here. There's no freedom whatsoever. I'm nearly forced to go to class, and I have no motivation at this point.
Scarlett: You are seriously going to leave me? We've been here for 2 years now. Why can't you just finish and get your degree.
Bill: I don't know if I'll need a degree for where I'm gunna go.
Matt: Are you actually considering Canada again?
Bill: Yes. More specifically Quebec City. I heard it's beautiful up there.
Scarlett: I'm not moving up there. No possible way.
Bill: Scarlett let's go. We need to talk.
(Scarlett and Bill walk down the street to the study hall)
Scarlett: So what is it you want to talk about?
Bill: I have bad news. I am going to move up to Quebec in an effort to make myself happy again. The past two years have been great but I have to break up with you and I couldn't wait to do this. I'm sorry.
(Scarlett runs away and it starts to downpour so she openes her umbrella and finds a taxi. Bill walks back to the party and informs everyone about the news.)
Bill: (to Ted and Gerald) I've made up my mind boys.
Gerald: What do you mean?
Bill: I'm going to pack up my things and drive to Canada.
Gerald: How will you survive? You have no money.
Ted: Not to mention you've never been alone in your whole life.
Bill: I don't need money where I'm going, and you can come with me if you want to.
Gerald: Absolutelt not. I'm not leaving the college, and Meredith behind.
Bill: I was talking to Ted. I know your too consumed with the same crap you do every single day.
Ted: What the heck, I'll come with you.
Bill: We won't be living in some hotel you know. We are going to live in the wild.
Ted: But won't it be freezing up there?
Bill: This is why I'm buying us snow gear tomorrow, and we will be on our way. Come on, let's leave this stupid party and get some sleep. We are leaving at sunrise.
(Bill and Ted leave the party and sleep at their own places.)
(Bill wakes up to a phone call from Ted at 3 in the morning)
Bill: (Groggy) Ted?
Ted: Have you told your parents yet?
Bill: I believe it's better if they don't know just yet. What they don't know won't hurt them for the time being.
Ted: Good idea, I'll do the same with my parents. Just wanted to make sure. Now get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow.
Bill: Okay sweet.
(Bill and Ted wake up and pack their things quickly to make it out of Massachussets by sunrise. They drive up to Quebec to start their new lives.)
Ted: Your dad let you borrow the camaro?
Bill: Nope, I just took it.
Ted: You do realize we aren't coming back right.
Bill: Yes I do, but he'll realize at one point in his life that I needed it to pursue my dream of getting the hell out of my boring robotic life.
Ted: Fair enough. Looks like we are only 5 minutes away from Quebec City.
Bill: I know where we will park the car, and then we will walk through the woods and into an open field. I searched it on google maps and it looked perfect.
Ted: We just need to make sure we have all of our essentials before me make this huge decision. You packed the knives right? And the canisters?
Bill: Yes.
Ted: How about the tents? The fishing line?
Bill: Ted, I have everything. We will be fine. Stop stressing out because it won't help our cause.
Ted: You can't take this lightly Bill because without our essential items we could die from starvation or anything of that sort.
Bill: I know. We will search through our bags when we get there and decide what we need.
(Bill shakes his head and rolls his eyes.)
Bill: (Annoyed) Please just don't ruin my dream. You know I've wanted to leave hell for the past 5 years.
Ted: I wouldn't exactly call it hell, but it was pretty bad.
Bill: (Looks off into the distance) Well, it looks like we're here. Time to unload.
(The two of them unload their car and search through their bags.)
Ted: You're right Bill, we do have everything.
Bill: (Confidently) Told you so.
Ted: I guess that's it then. Quebec here we come.
(They run into the forest with heavy luggage and everything from archery equipment to canned corn.)
(After six long hours of walking, the two stop near a creek and fill their water containers)
Bill: This is the life, ain't it buddy?
Ted: Yes, yes it is. I didn't think I'd say it, but Bill this was a great idea. (Looks into the distance) It's beautiful up here.
Bill: Oh no.
Ted: What's wrong?
Bill: I forgot something in my dorm.
Ted: What is it?
Bill: Our insulated heating blankets. We definitely need those to survive out here. We can't sleep in our coats every night.
Ted: Should we try and make a trip back?
Bill: Yes. Let's start walking.
(The two walk for a few hours and realize how dark it's getting)
Ted: Bill it's freezing and the sun is almost down. We are screwed.
Bill: The worst part is I don't know if we are going the right way.
Ted: Lets go look over by that cliff over there.
Bill: Okay but we have to be careful. There's a huge lake under it and if you fall you won't survive the impact of the ice.
Ted: I'll be fine.
(Ted takes a few steps and the ground underneath the two of them collapse. They fall nearly 2000 feet to their death.)
Gerald: (Talking to Scarlett) I just got a phone call from the police station saying that Ted and Bill passed away last night and their bodies were mangled, and discovered near a cliff. They most likely fell to their death.
Scarlett: (Hysterically laughs) Thats ironic.
Gerald: (Pauses) Why?
Scarlett: Bill was deathly afraid of heights.
